First, a big thank you to Richard and The Sporting Resource for the opportunity to contribute to this brilliant platform. Having spent years teaching and mentoring young people before transitioning into a world of work that enables me to work with sports
teams, I’ve seen how crucial it is to empower young people to take control of their growth. In both the classroom and on the field, the goal isn’t to give young people the answers but to guide them in finding those answers themselves. This is where self-determination becomes essential.
Self-Determination vs. Being Told What to Do
There are three key psychological needs that drive motivation and personal growth to the self-determination theory:
Autonomy (having control over decisions)
Competence (feeling capable)
Relatedness (a sense of connection to others).
When these needs are met, young people are more engaged, motivated, and resilient.
In contrast, constantly telling athletes what to do can create dependency and reduce their confidence. In my teaching career, I’ve seen students thrive when given space to solve their own problems and develop self-reliance. Athletes who rely on external direction often struggle when faced with new challenges because they haven’t developed the critical thinking and decision-making skills necessary for long-term success.
What Questions Can Coaches and Parents Ask to Encourage Personal
Instead of offering solutions, asking open-ended questions promotes reflection, self-awareness, and independence. Here are some examples that can help young athletes develop their problem-solving skills:
"What went well today?"– Builds confidence by focusing on positives.
"What didn’t go as planned, and why?" – Encourages self-assessment and learning from mistakes.
"What did you learn from that experience?" – Reinforces a growth mindset.
"What’s one thing you can improve on next time?" – Helps them set goals.
"How did you feel during that moment?" – Builds emotional awareness.
"What’s holding you back?" – Encourages identifying obstacles.
"Who can help you with this challenge?" – Develops resource-seeking behaviour.
"How would you explain that situation to a friend?" – Promotes perspective-taking and reflection.
"What motivates you to keep going?" – Strengthens intrinsic motivation.
"What’s the first step you can take to reach your goal?" – Focuses on actionable progress.
Each question challenges the athlete to think critically, reflect, and take ownership of their growth. This process transforms parents and coaches into facilitators of development rather than directors of behaviour.
Practical Strategies for Building Self-Determination
Here are some practical strategies to help young athletes become more self-determined:
Set Personal Challenges: Encourage athletes to set small, achievable challenges for themselves.
Example: Instead of saying, “Tackle better,” challenge them to “Try to successfully complete 5 tackles in the next game.”
Reflective Journaling: Ask athletes to keep a journal of their thoughts after training or games. This builds self-awareness and tracks progress.
Peer Coaching: Let athletes give each other feedback in a structured, supportive way. This develops relatedness and deepens their learning.
Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results: Recognise persistence and hard work, even if the result isn’t perfect. This builds resilience and keeps motivation high.
Teach Problem-Solving Frameworks: Give them tools like breaking down problems into steps or brainstorming solutions to help develop independent problem-solving skills.
Conclusion
When we empower young athletes to reflect on their actions, take responsibility for their choices, and set their own goals, we help them develop skills that will serve them far beyond the pitch or court. Coaches and parents can be powerful allies—not by providing solutions but by asking the right questions and trusting young people to rise to the challenge. With the right guidance and support, they ’ll learn they are capable of far more than they realise.
Thank you - Diolch yn fawr
You can find the Youth Empowerment Mentoring here:
